Saturday, 2 April 2016

What Moms Google - Breastfeeding VS Pizza

Oh yes, friends. The time has come for #whatmomsgoogle where the Sassy, Snarky, Sultry and Sleep-Deprived Simply Shaunacey and I team up to answer the questions YOU are googling about pregnancy, babies or toddlers! We don't promise to be right but we do promise to be real.

Note: If you've raised your children to adult status, we are in awe. Come babysit.

Here's this week's burning (think hot cheese) question:

Whaaaaa? HOW DARE YOU?

Oh pizza, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... 

First of all, thank you to the hundreds of thousands asking this because now I know we are united by motherhood AND Pizza Hut. I am no breastfeeding expert but I did exclusively (in a super inclusive non-snobby manner) breastfeed Emily, my firstborn until she was 14 months old. Can I say that if she ate solids? Meh. She drank breastmilk and ate everything in the house. Inclusively.

Destroyed the room? Check. Now to google "morbid obesity in babies."
It was PERFECT and I NEVER experienced any difficulty whatsoever. 

In fact, I wrote an article about it for Babble because they too know that breastfeeding is sheer delight for all moms. (See "Breastfeeding is Easy" and Other Lies Moms believe.)

So about that... I think breastfeeding is extremely handy if it works for you. It's portable, it's cheap and science and every vocal Vera on the internet confirm that it is good news for your baby. The question here is not really about that delicious pizza (and ice cream and cheese and yogurt and chocolate) or your baby's lactose intolerance. 

The question is "What lets you be okay?"

I'm currently breastfeeding my second daughter, Gabrielle and let me tell you, it's a whole 'nother ballgame (boobgame?). She only eats enough to not be starving and then she's twisting and tossing herself out of my arms, shrieking and yelling and generally not having it. 

Milk? No thanks. I have this delightful zero calorie wooden ring.

Plus, this round I am feeling a lot different. More anxiety. Less sleep. Hormonal craziness (more on that in a later post. Betcha can't wait). She and I are going to be saying sayonara to this late night milkshake house long before a year and that's okay. In retrospect, it might have been a lot better to have finished this part of our relationship sooner rather than later (but like all breakups, boob goodbye hindsight is 20/20).

Does that mean I've been immunized against the mom guilt virus? Nope and I know I'm in good company because when you type the words "Am I a bad mom for..." into Google, here's what populates:

In the words of the eloquent Tracy Byrd in his operatic symphonic classic: "If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy." Our kids' well-being has a lot more to do with feeling safe and protected than it does grade of liquid food. Let's be gentle with each other and let's be gentle with ourselves, okay mamas?

In case your story is different than mine, I've extensively researched this topic and helpfully compiled a comprehensive list of when it's okay to stop breastfeeding:

You're welcome. That took me less time than I had expected. 

What I know to be true is this: 

If I'm okay, my kids are okay. End of story.

Maybe you need to hear that from somebody else today too. If you're okay, your kids are okay. End of story. Wanna share a pizza? Conveniently, I just discovered Pizza Hut in my recent caller list. What a happy coincidence...

"Mom breastfed me longer. I'm obviously the favourite." #sisters

Now rush over to see what Shaunacey Says on this topic. You know you're wondering if she's open for baby business or if her chest is closed.

Don't forget to come back every Saturday to see how we answer your burning mom questions... or questions about burning something. Whatever.

Click HERE to ask... you know you want to.

Even though we obviously sound like the reigning experts in the realm of Motherhood, 
we in no way take responsibility for your personal parenting choices 
or the graphic images accompanying your Google searches. 
Don't google "Mucus Plug" for example. 
We warned you. 


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