Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Hashtag 'Goals' and some Spring Cleaning

So this week, I didn't want to do an outfit post. 

Don't get me wrong: It's been so much fun linking up with the ladies of The Blended Blog every week for Style Perspectives (where we pick an outfit prompt and all style it our own way). I love snooping through everyone's style and I really like spring sweaters.

I didn't want to do this post because I didn't want to take a picture.

Are you the type of person who sets goals? I am. I like to write them down and announce them and make lists with room for check-marks. Sometimes I only do this in my head but for all sorts of different areas in my life and the lists get so long and tricky that I wake up in the morning overwhelmed by the enormity of the tasks involved and I panic and quit. Which means that before my feet even hit the bedroom carpet, I'm already feeling discouraged by failure. Defeated and immobilized by all the things that I planned and then couldn't follow through on.

Sidenote: I think this might be what they mean by "negative self-talk."

Let's talk frankly about goals

This year I had a few but they all centered around less being more. Less stuff, more space. Less rushing, more engagement. Less stress, more fun. Less weight, more energy. Downsizing ALL THE THINGS for peace of mind and for moving this summer. Plus I started this fun blog this last fall (oh hey! Here we are) and I'm sort of an all-or-nothing person so instead of just randomly journalling my mom angst once a month, I decided to throw up all my thoughts on my computer keyboard and HERE WE ARE! 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not stopping. But I need a little pause to go read my New Year's Post 2016- The Year I Will and shake my priorities back into place because:

  • I'm a little overwrought and anxious (spoiler alert: post on Postpartum Anxiety coming at you next week)  
  • I'm eating my feelings (spoiler alert: my scale just got tossed in the downsizing so that was like five pounds right there).
  • I'm feeling frazzled with my family, with my friends and just in general (spoiler alert: no fun). 
  • Social media is really cool but a little ummmm... stressful, sort of.

Between being really tired and all my hair growing back in (Postpartum hair. Don't google it. It's horrible) and my face feeling like pebbled beach (Postpartum Skin. Don't google it. It's horrible) and eating all the things (me every day. It's horrible), I am my BEST SELF and LET'S PHOTOGRAPH THAT. 

Ready, style challenge?

But then Emily climbs up into my lap and shoves my laptop out of the way. And Gabrielle laughs and laughs until we all can't help but join in. And the sun shines down on the winter beat-up prairies. And His grace is new every morning and all those mental to-do-lists end up covered in crayon and being used as origami napkins.

So today it's time for a little spring cleaning and even though I still have a closet to downsize, a house to organize, three billion ideas to write about and a million things to pack, I'm going to just CALM DOWN. Breathe and rest in this life that God has given me.

Have you ever received a word of encouragement or perspective right when you need it? God sent me one of those today. I had emailed one of my favourite writers recently and here is a portion of her response. 

There isn't a right or wrong way to do this life, simply the way that God has called you to walk. I've found that when we are abiding in Jesus, in the Vine, the harvest is as he said in John 15, abundant and organic. There isn't a lot of striving in that imagery to me - there is rest... Sometimes it's a mess and sometimes it's gorgeous and a lot of times it's both. 

-Sarah Bessey

The external things will still be here NEXT week but Gabrielle learned to clap THIS week and I'm going to revel in her joyful pride as she slaps her chubby hands together in delight. I'm going to listen to Emily's rambling toddler tales as she reinvents the world to make sense of it. I'm going to take time not just to read God's word but to sit and allow that truth to permeate my heart. I'm going to put my phone down and sweep up all those crumpled discarded to-do lists in my mind and I'm going to trash them. Screw recycling. I want them gone, not re-purposed.

And I'm going to back off and be gentler with myself because that last ten pounds, the crater face and the fuzzy hair are such a minor part of reality. I don't want to miss the true and big picture of this beautiful mess by peering at myself in a distorted mirror. 

When I look back, I don't think it will matter if I finished a blog post or ate a salad or saw fourteen friends or "namaste-ed" when my toddler slingshot yogurt into the heater vent. I think I will remember how I treated my family, my friends and maybe even myself. 

So here's to laying down the "not there yet" discomfort and discontent and celebrating one good choice today. Here's to unwrapping life right now and not in 21 days. Here's to speaking truth over lies. Here's to shedding the weight of my own criticism like shrugging off a bulky cumbersome winter parka and being at ease in my skin and my own life right now.

Do you ever have to step back and honestly evaluate what lies or criticism you've been believing or telling yourself? 

How do you get back on track? 

I styled MY spring sweater. Where's yours?
But I still didn't take the photo so like next week, kay? If you want to be part of the awesome, uplifting Style Perspectives challenge, head on over here to link up or check out all the fun!

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