Friday, 5 January 2018

New Year's Resolutions for Mamas in the Trenches

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Happy Birthday and Happy New Year to me...

It's the new year and all around me, resolutions are whipping and roiling, being pronounced and proclaimed.  This quote by R.S. Grey has been circulating with profound hopes and plans: climbing mountains, conquering bucket lists, destroying fitness goals... 

Good for her. 

I'm not being sarcastic. I am here, cheering for us all but Mama friend, if this 2018, your mountains are made of laundry and your buckets are full of suds, your lists always have milk and bananas on them and the only thing you destroyed was the rest of the brownies at 11pm last night, then that's just fine.

Motherhood IS a real mountain, ladies and you're doing it right. 

Here's a list for you this year. 

1. Get a Full Night's Sleep. 

It seems impossible but we're reaching for the stars, sister. Start strong. Use headphones. Hide in the basement. I believe in you.

2. Complete a cycle of laundry in one calendar day. 

If you can conquer this mountain, you'll be the envy of your mom's group. I mean wash those clothes, dry them and place them in a god-given designated spot like a CLOSET or a DRAWER in a 24-hour period. Bonus points if your kids are home at this time. 

3. Offer to Host a Playdate. 

 That's right. You just dared to open your home to sticky hands, pink-eye and feeding ravenous toddlers. You da real MVP. Plus, your friends now owe you big time.

4. Take a Mom's Day Off. 

Sure, it takes 6 weeks of planning, 18 called-in favours and returning to a home destroyed by savages, but baby, you need it. Bonus points if you turn off your phone so you can't reply to frantic texts. 

5. Say No. 

 Between the lack of sleep, the tasks that don't end and the fact that you are never ever alone (especially in the bathroom), you are already superwoman. It's the time in life to say a gracious and gentle no to the requests and commitments that just aren't going to happen without a nervous breakdown. 

6. Ask for Help.

Whether it's time spent in prayer (my children have started praying aloud when frustrated... wonder where they got that from??) or calling a friend to say, I need a nap, do it. It takes a whole big messy village to grow these little people and often, reaching out is the absolute best thing you can do in this motherhood journey. 

7. Let it Go.

Your proud self-dressed toddler looks like she's auditioning for a homeless Cirque de Soleil show? Right on!
Your floor's covered in crumbs? Cool. Your kids are always hungry anyway.
You didn't quite get those last 50 5 pounds off before the family vacation? Enjoy every moment on that beach and beam for those photos.

Look around, mama. Everyone's thinking about their own toddler, muffin-top and messy house. Embrace those blessings and hold your head high.

8. Remember Everything's a Phase.

They all say the years go fast but when your child is teething or has the flu or decides poop art is a new passion, it sure feels awfully long. Reminding myself that this phase will soon end helps me bear the bearable and treasure the cute and special a little more.

9.  Laugh more than you yell.

Believe me, your kids will love it and you will too. Sorrys work too. 

10. Do what works for you. 

If the last 9 resolutions don't work for you, throw 'em out. The perfect way to mother your kids is by mothering your kids as yourself.

You're doing it right.
These littles will grow and those opportunities you're scrolling wistfully by on social media --- those mountains others are climbing and the trendy diets--- they will all still be there. I promise. 

Pin them for later. You've got your own mountains right now and they are real.
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This 2018, whether you embrace these goals or have your own or throw them out the window, you can do it. I'm there with you.

We believe we can so we do. Cherish the moments. Hide in the closet but above all, carry on, mama friend. I'll bring the wine but you're hosting the playdate, right?

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