Monday, 20 June 2016

Sometimes I Feel Like Superwoman - The Decision to be a SAHM

Today on Mombies Unite, Lana is providing thoughtful perspective on her decision to stay at home with her two sons. I love following Lana and getting to know her as she shares her experience of motherhood and womanhood with humour, grace and wisdom. I hope you love her words as much as I do!

Meet Lana. A 40-something mom of two amazing teenage sons, she's been happily married to her high school sweetheart and best friend of 24 years.  Lana and her family live in the Seattle area. She could probably live on diet coke, chocolate and cupcakes and Lana loves to talk and keep things organized. In a house of men, Lana finds a creative outlet for her love of fashion and dreams in pink through her blog, Two Teens and Their Mama.

The post, Sometimes I Feel Like Superwoman first appeared on Lana's blog, Two Teens and Their Mama

I had lunch with Cindy last week.  We met our first week in college, and even though we were complete opposites, hit it off.  Twenty seven years later, we're still friends.

She has three daughters about the same age as my boys, so when they were little we got together for occasional play dates.  As we sat and watched my sons run crazy circles around her quiet, sweet girls, we talked about how different our lives were.

One day she asked me if I regretted the decision to become a stay at home mom.  Cindy had gone back to work as soon as each of her babies turned three months old, and as much as she loved them, she couldn't imagine being home all day.  She told me she needed to be out in the work force, talking to adults and "using her brain".

I remember being a little offended.  Was she implying that my mind was turning to mush? Probably not.

Fast forward to last Tuesday.  Cindy's girls have grown into beautiful young women, all off at college and doing well.  Cindy has moved up in her company, and still enjoys her job.  Over lunch we talked about how different our lives are, and the subject came up again.  Now that the boys are almost grown, did I have any regrets about being a stay at home mom?

I answered her then as I did all those years ago.

Yes, I gave up a promising career.  I do sometimes wonder where I'd be now. Would I be a fancy schmancy buyer, jetting off to Paris and New York for Fashion Week?  Or maybe working for a high profile magazine, helping define the new looks of the season?  Probably not, but I'll never know.

Am I always sure that I made the right decision?  Nope.  And now that my chosen job is about to become obsolete, I have no idea where I'm headed.

But regrets?  Not a single one.

I wish every other mom out there felt the same way.  We women have to stop questioning each other about our choices.  No one ever knows someone else's situation, what's in their heart, their wants and needs.  There is no right or wrong way to parent.  The lesson I've learned?  You have to do what's best for you, and your family, and ignore everyone else.

As Cindy and I prove, the kids will turn out okay either way.  Being a mom is hard, and we need all the positive vibes we can get. From our friends, our family, and the other women around us.  Let's stop questioning.  Let's start supporting.

Some days everything comes together, and I look at my family and I feel like superwoman - able to leap piles of laundry, sullen teenagers and college decisions in a single bound.  Then reality sets in, and I remember the appointment I forgot, the dinner that isn't ready, and the huge to do list without end.

And I'm reminded that I'm not superwoman. I'm just a plain old mom, who chose a path 21 years ago, doing the best I can.

With no regrets.

Can you relate? Why not let Lana know in the comments below and share some of your thoughts from your own journey of motherhood so far? 

If you need more of Lana, make sure to follow her blog and find her on Instagram and Pinterest!

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