Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Kids Ruin Everything

So it's almost Mother's Day and that's got you thinking. Maybe you're still on the fence about having kids or perhaps you're eying up your own girth and wondering what you've gotten yourself into. Either way, as a mom of two little girls, I'm here to give you the straight-up truth about what to expect AFTER you're expecting.

Kids Ruin Everything. 

There's no way to sugarcoat it. Your life is never going to be the same. You might think I'm exaggerating so here's a quick rundown on what my children have ruined so far.

1. My body.

I used to have the strange idea that my outer shell belonged to me. Two pregnancies and breastfed babies later and it is simply a vessel of provision for these little creatures, much like the salad bar at an all-you-can-eat restaurant.

Never mind the physical stress of growing and feeding little humans, the postpartum hair joys, hormonal changes and lack of sleep have added a certain dignity to my look (OLD. I look OLD). I won't even tell you what body part twinges when it's going to rain.

I've had to let go of my idea of a perfect size and be amazed at what my body can DO... which seems like a horrible lesson to pass on to my daughters. Plus, there's this strange thing that's happened to my heart. It's softer somehow. I can't stand the idea of any child being hungry or mistreated. I cry more easily and I make inappropriate eye contact with other people's babies. Worst of all, I get incessant and sudden urges to share photos of my offspring on social media. 

Look! My kids still exist today!

2. My stuff.

My first child was the recipient of a beautifully decorated nursery. We're talking wainscotted walls, fluffy white sheets and a matching rocker. "I must have been off my rocker" is what I was thinking while scrubbing finger painted poop out of textured wallpaper as my second baby vomited on the carpet.

This is why we can't have nice things
In fact, I've stopped looking at my house, car or clothing as signs of my inner value and started seeing it all as stuff to facilitate a busy and full life with people I love. What's next? World peace? 

3. My marriage.

I didn't murder my husband during pregnancy rage and he hasn't offed me during postpartum anxiety so obviously I'm calling that a marriage win. Less sleep, zero alone time and the end of day kid-hand-off have changed long evening walks to conversations about who didn't put that diaper outside and where the two-year-old found the scissors. The money we used to spend dining and travelling is now squandered on strollers, car seats and wet wipes.

"So this is what the world looks like. It's bright out here."
Since becoming parents, we've had to cooperate more than ever before in our marriage and be intentional about our time. Bonding over hard things, experiencing someone choosing to get up so you can sleep and laughing hysterically together over toddler antics cannot be good for a couple. Right? 

4. My time.

You can bet that I'll be late. Everything takes a little longer with kids. Is it the fog of mom brain or the last second poopslosion? If the toddler managed to find her shoes then it will be a battle to get them on her feet and yes, we did forget the baby. Never mind the WASTED time. Let's talk about special plans. It's Murphy's Law that if you are counting on heading somewhere important, one of the kids will throw up. 

"I AM hurrying."
Letting go of extraneous activities and prioritizing your life are just some of the horrific activities that parenting requires. Also included are such actions as stopping to smell the roses or watch the garbage truck. In the time it used to take you to clean your whole house, you might still be chasing butterflies or rolling down a hill. Shudder.

5. My career.

As a teacher, I was ready to balance motherhood and students. What I wasn't counting on was how torn I was going to feel each day as I impacted other people's kids while my child was in daycare. Now that I'm on maternity leave with my second daughter (yay Canada), I worry about falling behind, missing opportunities for growth and of course I miss marking all those essays.

Plus, this time away from the workplace has prompted me to pursue other creative outlets like writing, which as we all know, is just the first step to unemployment.

So far, my kids have utterly devastated every single part of my life. 

It's been gutted, cleared of the clutter and debris and is being remodeled into something that I didn't see coming. Like every renovation, it's not perfect, sometimes there are a lot of waterworks to contend with and our pockets are a lot emptier. But when I take a second to catch my breath and sit down to really examine the before and after footage, it doesn't take long to see that even though there's a lot going on in this new space, it's also a whole lot brighter and open to all sorts of possibilities.

No comments:

Post a comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...