Saturday, 13 February 2016

Be Mine, Valentine. An Open Letter to Every Lady on Valentine's Day

How are you doing today, lovely? It's THAT day. That big red fluffy cotton candy rose petal stuffed animal cavity inducing VALENTINE'S DAY. 

You know what I mean. The day of big spending Instagram flowers shiny wine dates couple laughing hand holding vow boasting tale gushing rosy exclamations. 

And who am I to talk, with my handsome sidekick and two sweet peas?

Well gorgeous, I'm here to burst those helium filled hearts. Stomp on them. Tape them to the wall and hurl Pinterest knitting needles as darts until we pop every last one. We, the women. All the single ladies. All the married ladies. All the "it's complicated" ladies. All the grieving ladies.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE love. I wrote about it here and here. But we're not dealing with kindness, friendship, caring, long suffering agape love. February 14th is about the big gaping vaccuum called loneliness and discontent. 

You know... the one that consumerism Valentine's Day is supposed to fill. That the perfect guy is supposed to fill. That two kids and a dog is supposed to fill. That the right number on the scale is supposed to fill. That the accomplished career is supposed to fill. 


I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know I'm supposed to encourage you to embrace being single. Or maybe remind you that the right person is just around the next bend. Or preach gratitude for your partner and your blessings. But I don't know where you are at today behind your perfect Facebook profile and I'm pretty sure your platitude tank is filled to the brim. 

So I'll just say what I know to be true. 

You can find your soulmate and have children who sleep through the night. You can fit into the perfect jeans and accomplish all the goals. You can hang the degrees on the beautifully styled wall, but it will not fill that unsettled desire, that empty place. It might squelch it a little, but not for long.

C.S. Lewis said, "If I have found a desire within myself that no experience in this world can satisfy; the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." 

So today, I want to talk about being a number one sweetheart. Someone's best girl. Because the only place that deep longing IN ME is satisfied is in the one who placed that question there in the first place. 

“It is good for God's people to be put in a place of longing so they feel a slight desperation. Only then can we be empty enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for. When we are stuffed full of other things and never allow ourselves to be in a place of longing, we don't recognize the deeper spiritual battle going on.” -Lysa TerKeurst

So if you are feeling that wistful gnawing under all of the distractions -- the frills, the gestures, the cardboard and the candy -- can I introduce you to Jesus? He is big enough for your questions, for your anger, for your disappointments, for all of your insecurities. He knows your heart.

He is the one relationship in which your worth will be grounded, secure, and expanded. In which your heart can rest, be still and stop striving. And where, whether surrounded by mayhem and many littles, the laundry and the lack of sleep, the silence and the cereal for one, or the sorrowful heart, the regrets, and the questions why, He still whispers, "Be mine."

And, in that secret place of worries and disappointment, of pride and clutching, all he asks is for you to let it go. To give Him the anxiety and the hurt. To stand in His love as your true self with no shame and nothing lacking, and with a heart that can't help but reply, "I am thine, Valentine. Today. Tomorrow. Always."

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. This hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]—a safe and steadfast hope that enters within the veil [of the heavenly temple, that most Holy Place in which the very presence of God dwells], where Jesus has entered [in advance] as a forerunner for us.

(Matthew 11:28, Ezekiel 36:26, Hebrews 6:19-20)


  1. perefct. just. perfect.
    though... my heart was made happier with a little wine and some flowers today, just sayin' :)

    Confessions of a Frumpy Mommy

  2. So beautiful! Thank you! Thank you!

    1. Hope you are having a lovely restful weekend with your loves!

  3. AMEN sister. I have absolutely no expectations for Valentine's Day anymore. Honestly any holiday besides Christmas has zero joy for me. I very very stupidly wanted my first mother's day to be some magical experience like you described above. I did get a card and a gift, and even if I had gotten an even bigger card and gift, I would have reacted the same. I was disappointed. But not because of what I didn't get. But because of what was wrong with my heart at the time and because of what I was putting my hope into - the world and material things instead of the truth that Jesus speaks over us. The things of this world will never last. Gifts on holidays are nice. But they should not be what we live for.

    1. Yes! The attitude and purpose we bring changes everything. Love your honesty! Thank you for sharing.


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