Monday, 28 April 2014

Motherhood- Year One

Disjointed ramblings on the first year of motherhood from a sleep deprived rookie.

Emily is almost a year old and I can’t hardly believe it. When did that happen?  She’s huge and hilarious and tiny and sweet, all wrapped into a loud inquisitive package. While I'm still a newbie parent, I want to take a look back at this blink of an eye/painfully slow year of contradictions because it all gets normal so fast.

A few random observations:

1.     Lobster trap little kid snack containers. Yes. Parents? Go buy them now. Non-parents? Baby shower gift covered.

2.     Supersonic hearing. I can now hear a child whimpering 3 streets over and 6 blocks down.
3.     Sleeping through the night. Thank God for this blessing every day.

4.     When not sleeping through the night: NO big decisions, NO deep conversations or “discussions” with anyone. Ever.

Breastfeeding. Bonding. Beautiful.

5.     Daddy, doggie, up, hi, and yeah yeah yeah all mean “I love and appreciate you, Mum.”

6.     Best family and friends in the world. I've got them. I knew this. They've now been tested to the nth degree. 

7.     Fear. I wrote a post about it here.

8.     Fun. So much fun.

9.    Sleep. So little sleep.

Ah the memories...

10. Love. So much love. 

That about sums it up.  THEN I thought about maybe adding advice for new parents.
  • The most poignant symbol of friendship I have received to date: Guests that DIDN'T ring the doorbell, handed us food and left.   
  • Hand-me downs = God's blessings. 
  • Maybe penning a book entitled: No one knows if it's teeth or not but they're still crying so deal with it. 
  • Or a blog post captioned Burn the books and call your mom.A memoir perhaps? My body to our body. My space to our space. 
  • Or even We both have offspring, let's socialize. Mom groups? No thanks. 

Buuuuuut I don't have anything to say that you haven't already experienced or may experience in your own way. So here's my "best and worst" from Emily's first year.

Here goes.

Best thing about this year?  

Becoming a mom, developing a relationship with this new little person and getting to see Nathan be the most amazing dad possible. Seeing God's grace in every facet of the parent-child relationship. Relying on God's grace in every facet of the parent-child relationship. 

On that note, I was ready for postpartum depression to smack me upside the head day two after Emily's birth (it didn't) and for this to be the most difficult year of our marriage (it wasn't).

Turns out winter gets me down, not our offspring. Don't get me wrong; This year has been challenging and I am not fun to be around sometimes, but I feel blessed to live in a country where I get to hang out with my child for a full paid year (yay socialism! yay Canada!) and get to know my man better too.

Worst thing about this year? 

You know when you get married (earmuffs, single people. On to the next paragraph for you...) and suddenly all the little (GIANT) flaws you have are out there and you have to acknowledge them and even start FIXING them?  Becoming a parent is the bonus round.  The biggest thing I have struggled with this year is control. Letting go of little things that would never have bugged me before. They seem compounded, exaggerated and I become a raging angry person with no off switch... Not to my child. To everyone else. 

Is this hormones? Is this just my personal crazy multiplying? That’s what I’m currently dealing with and working on during this season of life.  More on that in future depressing blog posts. Can't wait to see what this next year, returning to work and juggling all the things, will look like!


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