Tuesday, 21 November 2017

Hashtag Goals





I think I'm done with goals. 


I know, I know, it's great to aspire to something. Isn't that why Pinterest was created in the first place? Wedding goals. House goals. Fashion goals. Organizing goals. Home goals. Parenting goals. Wife goals. Teacher goals. Writing goals. The list goes on... and not just the list--- the organizer, the calendar, the journal, the spreadsheet, the apps...

I think I'm done with goals.

Every year around November, all my exuberance and energy drains out and as it seeps away, I'm left with an internal battle that leaves me exhausted.

I know there's a name for this (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but it takes me by surprise every year. I think I can trick the system. I feel GREAT, I have GOOD HABITS, I'm in a ROUTINE, and then bllllaaaaaaaahhhh.

Instead of directing my time and mental space to my family, my faith, my job, and my life in general, in November, I'm stuck on hold with the conversation in my head. 


The hold music whines "Go to bed. Quit your job. Do it tomorrow. Turn on the TV for the kids. Lie down. Call in sick. Ignore your friends. Shut the door on everyone..." on repeat. 

Once in a while, it pauses long enough for me to formulate why these are poor choices with negative consequences but mostly I go about my day, one task at a time, while this hold music drones on in the background. 

It's distracting. It's hard to be fully present. It's stupid, but it's always there and it's exhausting.

Maybe you're there too. Maybe your hold music is different but you're struggling silently and your normal feels like too much. 

If you're there, put your goals down for a minute. You can pick them up (or pin them up) later. Here's what I know, whether you're struggling or triumphing right now: The goals don't matter if you can't remember your aim.
 

I can't control the hold music, but I can oppose the lies it speaks. I can remember my aim.


For me, the three most sinister suggestions I can't shake are these:

1. Everything is hard and it shouldn't be. 

Where did I get this idea that I should be able to skip through life with no responsibilities? The older I get (oh hi, mid-thirties!), the more I realize that anything of value takes ongoing consistent work. It takes showing up EVERY DAY. It means that habits are formed in where I give my attention and it means that what I value is evident in my actions EVERY. DAY. Bah humbug. 

2. Everything is about me. 

Let's just say I have a few areas to work on right now. My spending. My eating. My... everything, really--- but it's not about a 10-step plan. It's not about goals.

It's about my heart. It's about the direction of the next five minutes. It's so much less about ME and my circumstances and so much more about where my attention is focused.  


3. I should shut everyone out. 

 Community is hard but I need it, badly. Whether it's eating supper with another family or bothering a colleague in the staffroom, choosing inclusion over exclusion is a struggle for me and is always always the right choice. Don't get me wrong, we all need a time-out now and then, but for me, hermiting is a sign that I'm on a dangerous path.


I can't control the hold music but I can speak truth until it fades. I can remember my aim.



I can read truth until the lies fade. Instead of stuffing my mouth with numbing food and my mind with numbing Netflix, I can turn to the source of truth, consistently. I can fix my eyes on the goal instead of my goals.

I can show up. I can practice intentional gratitude and enjoyment. I can remember that my actions demonstrate my values, every single day.

I can decide to do the next right thing instead of all the things. Just the next right thing.

I can remember that it's not about me. It doesn't all depend on me and I can show myself some of the grace I give others willingly. All is not lost in one poor choice, in one bad moment. His mercies are new every morning.

Just the next right thing.

So goals? Maybe I'll see you in the new year, but for the next few months, I'll be looking up. I'll be showing up. I'll remember my aim. I'll be reading truth and I'll be drowning out the hold music. The rest is up to Him.



Photo by Melissa Loeppky


Photo via Erin Hertz


P.S. If you care to join me, this is good one for drowning out the hold music




"Take Courage" by Kristene DiMarco
Slow down, take time,
Breathe in. He said
He'd reveal what's to come.
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come.

Take courage, my heart.
Stay steadfast, my soul.
He's in the waiting.
He's in the waiting.
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds,
He's never failing.
He's never failing.

Sing praise, my soul.
Find strength in joy.
Let His Words lead you on.
Do not forget
His great faithfulness,
He'll finish all He's begun.

So take courage, my heart.
Stay steadfast, my soul.
He's in the waiting.
He's in the waiting.
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds.
He's never failing.
He's never failing.

And You who hold the stars,
Who call them each by name,
Will surely keep Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory.
And You who hold the stars,
Who call them each by name,
Will surely keep Your promise to me,
That I will rise, in Your victory.

So take courage, my heart.
Stay steadfast, my soul.
He's in the waiting.
He's in the waiting.
And hold onto your hope,
Watch your triumph unfold.
He's never failing.
He's never failing.

He's in the waiting.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...